True to Irish form Padraig was in no hurry to give feedback on my assignment. At this point anxiety and worry were dominating my thoughts. Finally getting back to me Monday I received Padraig's critique on my assignment due Wednesday! Lately, surrendering my time to the Lord has been a struggle. My Jesus calling devotion has been helpful, especially March 6th that reminded me Jesus is not subject to limitations of time or space. Trying to keep this in mind the next few days I still struggled to focus on devotions knowing papers were due and assignments yet to be finished.
Yesterday morning my rushing through devos was over. I needed to give God my first fruits and spend my morning giving Him my undivided attention. The mornings devotion was as follows:
Save your best striving for seeking My face. I am constantly communicating with you. To find Me and hear My voice, you must seek Me above all else. Anything that you desire more than Me becomes an idol. When you are determined to get your own way, you blot Me out of your consciousness. Instead of single-mindedly pursuing some goal, talk with Me about it. Let the Light of My Presence shine on this pursuit, so that you can see it from My perspective. If the goal fits into My plans for you, I will help you reach it. If it is contrary to My will for you, I will gradually change the desire of your heart. seek Me first and foremost, then the rest of your life will fall into place, piece by piece.
Wanting these assignments and papers done so badly, they became my focus as I pushed God out of my thoughts. In particular this difficulty pertaining to my psychology assignment had overwhelmed me. Knowing it was quickly approaching, due the next day, I had yet to finish my devotions. I prayed that God would help put me at ease as I surrendered my time to him. After all he is not subject to limitations in time or space. Generally devotions take me between 30min-hour in the morning. The clock read 10:50 as I began writing my prayers. They seemed to come alive as I was lost in God's love and his sweet communication with me. Finally! I had let go and allowed God to speak to me. My time in prayer felt as though 3 hours had passed. Thankful I'd taken the time to spend with God and not allow my time crunch to take over, I noticed the clock read 11:00am. 10 minutes! God is so good, and indeed is not limited by time. Asking for his help in my surrender and time to finish my assignment He provided in a mighty way.
Throughout the day I was able to focus on Him and feel His presence. Roadblock after roadblock this assignment wasn't getting any easier. It felt as though I was Chicken Little and the sky was falling. Nothing was going right regarding this assignment. Rather than stress about it, I was able to seek God and see from His perspective. Maybe He's trying to teach me something? In the end a single assignment my sophomore year of college is not going to affect the rest of my life. God is sovereign, therefore it doesn't matter whether it's an assignment or the sky truly is falling I am able to rest in God's peace. What a beautiful and freeing feeling.
Regrettably this mind set and focus on God didn't carry through until evening. Allowing worry to creep in around the same time I asked Dad to proofread my paper I let my thoughts get carried away. Suddenly I panicked thinking my assignment wouldn't get done. Loosing my patiences and temper I was very short with dad. An apology is owed, Dad I am sorry I lost my patience with you. I appreciate and value the help you gave me.
The assignment is finished and over with. It's great to be done and know I cannot do anything to change it. On a lighter note I returned to my bike to find a lovely daffodil stuck through my breaks.
Having been gone all day, I'm starving and must leave for CU shortly.
With Love from Galway
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